Story: Flip Caught Stealing

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Philippe Argent, or as his few friends called him, “Flip”, chuckled as he tossed around the coins he had just swiped from an unwitting deer’s pocket. “Heh, too easy,” he snickered.

The big grin on his white, feline face, showed off sharp fangs and jagged teeth that sparkled almost as much as the silver coin on his forehead that made up his namesake. He had his blue eyes laser-focused on the coins he had stolen, and his grin was quickly wiped from his face when he bumped into someone on the sidewalk.

“Urk! Hey, watch where you’re goin’, pal!” Flip grunted, dropping the coins he was playing with onto the concrete. When he bent down to pick them back up, he just saw a pair of rabbit feet - no shoes - and no coins to be found. The person he had run into had already bet him to it. In front of the Meowth was a lean, blue, bunny - perhaps only a few inches shorter than himself - dressed in a red hoodie, and wearing big black glasses with thick, rectangular frames. The bunny was also carrying a skateboard over his shoulder.

“You dropped something,” The blue bunny said, holding out the coins in his white-furred paws. As Flip went to grab the coins back, the bunny pulled his paw back, and smirked. “Wait just a minute, buddy, I saw you take these from that buck back there.” The rabbit had a big, obnoxious, self-righteous smirk on his white muzzle, one that sported long, buck teeth, rather than Flip’s sharp, feline fangs.

“Maybe I did, what’s it to ya?” Flip replied, clenching a fist and straightening his back as he stood up, assuming a defensive pose. Who was this guy, getting all goodie-no-shoes on him?

The bunny then tossed the coins around in his own hands, taunting the cat. “How would you like it if someone stole from you, eh?”

Flip snarled and tried to swipe the coins back from the bunny, but the buck-teethed skater dude was faster than him, and pulled them away at just the right moment. “People steal from me all the time!” Flip said, rolling his eyes, “so I catch em, and steal right back from them. And then I readjust their faces.”

The bun smiled again, looking down at the mouthy cat’s waist. “Yeah? Maybe you should readjust your pants, instead, dork.” He pointed at Flip’s clearly visible underwear waistband, where the letters “FTL” could be seen, along with a solid half inch of the white fabric beneath it. Flip was only wearing an open red vest up top, with no shirt - passable attire in the current hot weather, if very revealing - so there wasn’t much blocking the view. “You ever hear of wearing a belt?” The bun snickered.

“You ever hear of minding your own damn business?” Flip snapped, his clenched fist getting tighter, as the cat felt himself getting angrier.

“All the money you’ve stolen must be weighing you down a lot - your jeans look like they’re one stiff breeze away from tumbling straight down to the ground!” The bunny chuckled, holding out the coins in his paws once again.

“And you look like you’re one more wisecrack away from getting knocked straight down to the ground, rabbit!” The cat growled, swiping the coins - this time, successfully - from the teasing blue lapin. If this hadn’t been happening right in the middle of the sidewalk, with people around, Flip knew he would have knocked this guy out already.

“Well, I guess I better be quick, then!” The rabbit said, bending forward just a bit. As Flip watched him get closer, the cat wound up in preparation for a punch, or a block with his other hand in case the guy was about to hit him in the face or torso. But instead, the rabbit stuck just a single claw in an opening in one of the tears in Flip’s tattered jeans. This action caught Flip off guard long enough to pause for a moment and figure out what the hell was going on.

But before Flip could figure out anything, his feline ears flicked as he heard a sound echo through the air…


In one swift motion, the rabbit dragged his claw from the front seam of the pants, around the side, and back to the rear, going just one layer deep, to spare the white fabric underneath. In seconds, Flip’s already torn jeans lost any ounce of structural integrity they still had, and practically disintegrated on the spot. As the last of the jeans fabric fell to the ground, so too did the coins and bills that had once filled the cat’s pockets. A torrent of denim and cash rained down on the sidewalk, and the loud sound of both the fabric tearing and the coins pinging onto the concrete drew in the attention of any bystanders within earshot.

And if one was not within earshot, the sight of the now fully on-display, bright, white fabric of the FTL briefs Flip was wearing, would have drawn anyone’s attention from even a mile away. The white underwear contrasted well against the darker cream color of his legs and hips, and that red vest of his did absolutely nothing to obscure the view for anyone, from any angle.

The cat’s white face quickly turned a bright red to match his skimpy vest, and he stood there, stunned. His brain was struggling to even register what had just happened. The impish blue prankster wouldn’t let such a good opportunity slip through his paws, however, so he made sure to grab hold of Flip’s waistband before he hopped onto his skateboard! He made enough distance in just a few seconds to stretch the band out and send Flip tumbling forward! As the poor cat fell, the bunny let go of the waistband, sending it flying back towards its owner, and a loud, satisfying CRACK! cut through the air, as elastic hit skin - along with the loud meow-cry from the very unlucky thief cat! “YYYYEEEOOOWWW!!!”

“Use all that cash to buy yourself some new pants, dork!” The bunny called back, laughing as he skated off into the distance. “Maybe they’ll give you a discount when they see your cute tighty-whities!

If the sound of the waistband snap - and the cry of the cat - weren’t enough to draw in more onlookers, the bunny’s calling out of embarrassing garment was. In a few short moments, a small crowd began gathering around the nearly-naked cat. Some of them just looked at him, while others pointed and laughed. Many a photo were taken before the cat even had a chance to try and cover up, and it was only when some people started to try and pick up the money he dropped, did he start to pull his hands away from his briefs to try and grab the cash before everyone else did.

Flip spent the next few minutes trying to salvage as much of the cash - and his dignity - as he could, fending off grabby hands and paws from taking his hard-stolen money, or even sneaking lewd swipes at his briefs. It was possible that by the end, he might have had enough money to buy himself some new pants - but with how bold and feel-y the crowd was getting with him, he knew what little bit of clothing still covering his body wasn’t likely going to survive the long walk to the clothing store.


This post is licensed under CC BY 4.0 by the author.